UW-Parkside Spirit Week 2019

The one they shall talk about for generations



With the weekend approaching, we say goodbye to another Spirit Week. Among the staple highlights were, of course, the durian eating contest and the gnushk-a-thon, but we here at the Ranger News thought it would be fun to go back through our favorite experiences.

A proper send off

One very fast favorite was obviously the Bubble Bowl II. Thanks to the cruel bait-and-switch at the halftime show of Superbowl LIII, fans of the Stephen Hillenburg era of the show “Spongebob Squarepants” were left without a tribute to this monumental mariner. Mr. Hillenburg can finally rest in peace, however, thanks to the wonderful halftime performance at the sportsball game last Friday. Enormous accolades go to our marine biology and music departments for collaborating in their effort to not only catch the 128-fish orchestra, but also to get them show-ready in such a short amount of time.

The dress-up days

Of course, one simply cannot have a proper Spirit Week without the dress-up days. Monday’s “Favorite Vegetable Day” was entertainingly successful; nobody could have anticipated the sheer number of people that happened to own an eggplant costume.

The same goes for Tuesday with “Celebrity Day.” Who would have thought Richard Simmons was held in such high regard by dozens upon dozens of college students?

One of the most astounding discoveries had to be this school’s love for Clementine Paddleford, a food writer who worked for the “New York Herald Tribune” back in the 1930’s. For “Hero Day” on Wednesday, no less than HALF the entire student population sported some sort of submarine sandwich memorabilia.

And of course, it is unlikely anybody is ever going to forget “SCP Day,” which took place on Thursday. Due to the sudden [DATA REDACTED] that caused a pair of freshman boys to accidentally [DATA REDACTED] and subsequently release SCP-[DATA REDACTED] into the building, it is unlikely that that particular theme will ever be repeated. On a more positive note, the remaining biology professors have finally figured out a way to reverse the [DATA REDACTED], so at the very least, everybody’s eyebrows should return to normalcy within the next few weeks.

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