Satire

Professor suspects thief in their classroom


TYLER STEINSDORFER

stein078@rangers.uwp.edu

Professor Suzanne Swiderski claimed that her classroom was preyed upon by a thief

A series of weird happenings have been going on in Molinaro 149 involving the appearance and disappearance of different items. A professor in the English department claims that this occurrence is the act of a nefarious thief, possibly two. In addition, they went as far to make a mind-boggling claim that the room may be used as a storeroom for the thieves’ stolen goods.

The incident

It all started on a dark and stormy afternoon when they found a pair of glasses in their classroom that  have not been collected by anyone. She thought this to be the most peculiar since they did not really understand how someone that needed glasses to see could go so long without them.

At that point in time, the professor had no reason to believe that it had anything to do with theft, however the idea began to sprout in her mind after witnessing other things mysteriously appear in the room.

Other items that showed up were a festive mug, twenty cents and a bottle of water. The professor as well as a number of her students did not really know what to say to this until the money vanished from the room as quickly as it originally appeared. “It must have been stolen,” the professor declared, begging the question: can something be stolen if it doesn’t belong to anybody?

Thoughts and impressions

The Professor believes that there must be two different thieves at large. Their reason for this is that the first thief could have stolen all of the previously mentioned objects, but the second thief later stole the money from the first thief’s “hideout”. She hopes that the culprits are brought to justice and are aptly punished for their transgressions, and that in addition the original owners of this items comes to the room so that they retrieve their lost possessions.

One can only hope that the owners of these stolen goods will be able to be reconnected with their lost items and that no one else will be affected by this.

 

Categories: Satire

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